No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
