Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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