i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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