y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize