i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize