I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
