scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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