Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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