She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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