this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
