it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
