Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
