I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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