This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
