saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
