Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
