It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
