glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
