So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
