i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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