Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
