dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Randomize
