is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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