Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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