There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
