apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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