Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
