dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
