Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
