We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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