OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
