butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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