mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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