I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize