I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
