This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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