I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
