Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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