His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
