i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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