New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
