Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
