HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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