So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
