Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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