Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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