remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
