She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize