I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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