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• (407): View more from Florida

  Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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• (310): View more from California

  He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That's about an "8" on normal scales.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  No piss test, hell yeah

  (248): View more from Michigan

  FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"

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