Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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