My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
