yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
