marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The maid of honor just puked.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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