Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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