i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
