I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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