We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
