ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
