She announced her abortion via fbk
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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