we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize