Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
nutella sex= disaster
no you cant smoke seaweed
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
