i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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