its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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