I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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