Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
