i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
