WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
