New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
