Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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