I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
