he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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