Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
