We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
