This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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