I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
